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"I'll Do It Later."

Some call it laziness and others call it executive dysfunction. Some blame it on ADHD or trauma, and others will say it's because you aren't really an artist because if you are, why aren't you wanting to indulge in your craft 24/7?

I've asked myself the same thing and, as we are our own worst critics, used these wayward thoughts to my own detriment. When I became pregnant, I worked as much as I could with my previous job because I had not only fallen in love with art but with teaching and that was a way to do both. The month before giving birth to my son was a plethora of joy and fatigue, bodily pains intertwining with my want to rest well and indulge in reading and art, but the birth came so quickly that I then threw myself into the newest role of mother. I was a teacher all over again and it was the most beautiful, fulfilling part of my life to give my all to my son.

When the pandemic came, he was still in daycare and then preschool and my husband recommended taking my love of art into the professional field. With nothing to lose and everything to gain, I began my sole proprietorship with the ultimate goal of connecting with others through art.

So why cant I bring myself to make it?

I'm proficient, I know color theory and composition and have the motivation but the ability to simply start is where I go astray. And I know its only myself that's holding me back.

I may have a new toddler climbing me like a tree every twenty minutes, but I should still be able to give myself five minutes to paint, to draw, to bring what's inside of me out.

So why can't I?

I use my children as an excuse, that they need me, which they do but they need to see that I need me too. Because in doing so, that's what will teach them the most: to be their own person, to do right for themselves, and to continue creating no matter what.

So I brought my son into the business by participating in a marketplace at his school, finally letting myself indulge in the feeling of putting my art out there into the world for other's to do with what they will. The following are some of the artwork I had on display and sold and hopefully I'll be bringing it to my website soon!

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